Coffee with Katy: Small Wedding, Big Marriage

After a year of marriage under my belt, I tend to see others planning their weddings as silly, needless shows. Not to say I do not value the process or the planners, but just to say.... its not that big of a deal.

Unconventional? Possibly. Today’s society has created an industry that draws women into thinking a wedding is the most important thing they will ever do, and it should be grand, extravagant, and EXPENSIVE. It should look like Pinterest, and be better than all the other weddings you’ve been to, been in, or seen on Facebook. But why? Its just one day. One night. One moment.

My wedding was everything I ever hoped. That is to say, I felt beautiful, had cake, and married the man of my dreams. That’s all I wanted. All I needed. As a girl, I did dream of the perfect venue, perfect tables, perfect dress, and the thought of hearing, “her wedding... wow!” But as I realized the price all that came to (both figuratively and literally), I ended up with simpler ideals. I wanted simple. I wanted affordable. I wanted to end the day married. I got all that and more! The day was wonderful, and I could not have asked for a more elegant way to start my future with my new husband.

$5,000. That was my budget. Everything (except my dress) was to come from that amount... and for the most part, it did. Could I afford a venue other than a church? Nope. Could I feed my guests? Nada. But did I get married? You betcha! My husband and I have been happily married for a year and a half, and overly blessed beyond words. We have an amazing house that we purchased on our own, two beautiful girls: our cat Meredith, and our Australian Shepherd Ellie May, and three college degrees under our belts. We laugh, challenge, and support each other. We are no less married than the girl planning her $15,000 wedding.

I guess my whole point is... why do we feel the need to spend so much money on one day? Why is this one day supposed to define our marriages? Our futures? Sure, it’ll make for a nice profile picture for... maybe 6 months? I’m not saying our weddings are not important. It is a wonderful day that joins together two people. It creates and extends a whole new family. But it doesn’t need to become an all consuming affair that takes over the whole point... MARRIAGE.

There’s a novel question that every bride should ponder: do you want a small wedding and big marriage, or big wedding and small marriage? Again, just because you have a large wedding, does not mean your marriage will be small.

I just want to bring up the thought that big marriages do not ONLY come from big weddings. Happily Ever After is not ONLY concocted for the extravagant and well off.

 

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